Sitting at the Wheel and Heartbreak...

Describes a good part of my day today.  As for now, my bags are packed, and I'm ready to go.  Leaving on the jet plane bound for Europe for a week long stay and then two weeks in the Middle East.

The morning started out with one of the best things in the world...sleeping just a little later than usual.  (I'd taken leave today so I could rest and relax, and take my time packing.)  Jim had promised me a massage today, and so after some breakfast and homework...I basked in the luxury of an hour massage and some much needed snuggle time.  I hadn't had a massage in ages, and my skin, muscles, joints and sinews were appreciative of the therapy.

After a short nap, it was off to Fantastic Sams to get a hair cut.  I'd had a cut and color done only two weeks ago, but hadn't been satisfied with the cut I got.  Interesting to note that the first salon I went to just days ago charged me $120.00 to color (highlight) and cut my hair, and Fantastic Sams charged me $15.00.  After many a trial and tribulation trying to find the right hairdresser in Ventura, to do what I want for my hair, I finally found someone to do it.  Mabel, a brusque Caucasian orange haired woman, is almost 65 years old, and her hairdresser compadres have been around Ventura all of their lives. When I walked in to the salon, I had the instant feeling of "down home" and "no nonsense" that I'd grown up with much of my life.  It was like walking into the hills of West Virginia and sitting down with many of the plain spoken folk I'd met and learned to know there.  No comment is taboo, as long as its the truth.

My cut and color at the fancy salon took me almost two hours.  Mabel was literally done in 10 minutes.  My hair was as close as it could be to the picture I carted in with me in the hopes I'd get lucky this time.  I laughed for the first time I can remember, while getting my hair done, as their plain conversation was filled with joy, mirth and a joke now and then...and I left knowing I would definitely come back.  No foo-foo.  No frills.  Just a nice simple cut, like the picture I brought, and I was done and out the door ready for the next day's evolution.

After Sean got home from school and Jim returned from his physical therapy appointment, we went to a small art show at Ventura Harbor.  One of the artist sections included a pottery guild, and outside of the guild store sat an older woman named Yevette. Yevette lives in Ojai, and not only makes pottery, but spins yarn and raises llamas.  She took Sean by the hand and led him in his first lesson of making a cup on the pottery wheel.  (I sooo felt nostalgia when she talked about her wheel, and my fingers were itching to spin fibers!)  Sean attacked learning the potter's wheel with gusto, and under the guidance of Yevette, created a lovely shaped tea cup out of porcelain clay.  His first one, and it was beautiful!  It was such a joy to watch him work with the clay, smooth it, bring the edges up, create the collar then finally remove it from the wheel.  Sean is good with his hands when he wants to be. He loves wood working, and tinkering with things.  He's built his own foam swords and shields in the past, and has done a variety of other creative things, but I was so proud he did well today with the clay.

Kira called to say she couldn't make it to dinner.  She was meeting with her soon to be ex-boyfriend.  He's a wonderful young man, but Kira and he are both going separate ways for a while, and my very grown daughter sat down and talked to him about it.  It was tough on her, and tough on him, and when I talked to her afterwards on the phone I could tell the whole thing really bummed her out.  Heartache.  Making those difficult choices.  Trying to do the right thing.  I knew it was hard, but in the end I'm proud of her.  She made sure she approached the situation carefully, and made sure she was honest about it.  Her former boyfriend loves travel, and rock climbing and is the sweetest, most thoughtful and kind individual, but he will be traveling the summer, and then living in Santa Cruz this fall.  Kira will be here, studying Wellness courses and attending more massage courses so she can get her National Certification.  I've never been prouder of my dearest daughter, to make the adult decisions, to stand up and be honest about her choices.

After Jim, Sean and I got home, we went out together, just her and I, and ate frozen yogurt at the Wild Cherry.  We talked and shared things that mothers and daughters do, and I felt nostalgia and sadness wash over me as I realized tomorrow I'd be traveling away...away from my family.  The ones that I love.  Off to serve my country in the ways that I know how, and can contribute the best.  I'll hate not being home...not being with them.  But every moment, I will love them, and love who they are.

As the evening draws to a close, I sit on the front porch (it's actually just after midnight) lightly puffing on a Nico Libre, and mentally checking off the items I've packed in my sea-bag.  Tomorrow ( or really today) is another day, and I pray.  I pray that my family stays safe, that each of my planes take off and land as they should, and that time will speed along quickly until I'm in their arms once again.

~Cin