Jim Comes Home!

Where have the days gone? They are all a blur. It's a cliche', I know, but it best describes how things have gone since Jim returned home. 

He came home on 04 September 2013, with a PICC line (peripherally inserted central catheter/ type of I.V.) and a supra-pubic catheter (a line inserted above his pubic bone that goes straight to his bladder). 

Walgreens delivered several bags of antibiotics and an I.V. pole, and after a visit from a home nurse we were on our own. I made his meals, gave him antibiotics, helped him walk with his walker to the bathroom and to the shower, showered him, dressed him and emptied his urine bag. In addition to that, I was taking my son to school, picking him up after school, cleaning the house, doing the grocery shopping and trying to spend some time at work seeing patients. I couldn't have done it all without my daughter and her boyfriend and my son. They all pitched in when they could, taking out trash, running the vacuum, helping me with clothes. Still, the work never seemed to end.

Gradually, he became more comfortable at home. Sleeping in his own bed was a treat, and being at home was a blessing. But sitting around while I buzzed around the house, made phone calls and tried to figure out bills was driving him crazy. When I took Sean to school one morning, he said he wanted to come. We all piled into the car, and it was his first 'non-official' trip in a while. Later we had to go to CVS to pick up some of his medication, and he wanted to come there too. I was afraid he'd have a hard time, but he was a champ! Before we'd left Saint John's hospital, his physical therapist advised me to make sure I corrected his gait and his posture. He has a tendency to lean to the right since it's his weaker side right now.

I know you're wondering about the patch over the eye. It's something his neurologist wanted him to do to help correct his vision. He has "double vision" and his eyesight won't line up so in order to see better and to train his eyes he wears the patch over one eye for a while and then switches sides.

Just a few days ago, he was dying to get out of the house. My clinic has an extra wheel chair, and some of the staff suggested I borrow it. I brought it home and by using it we were able to take him further outside. I walked Paris, and Kira walked Jim (in a manner of speaking). Jim often finds he is 'cold' despite the 70-80 degree weather, and we've had a cool spell in Ventura which is why he's all bundled up!

This week has been full of doctor appointments, home health/ physical therapy and occupational visits, and visits from would be renters of the house we have to move out of. Just yesterday, Jim had to go to see the urologist. Instead of suggesting surgery, or seeing if there was a blockage, the doctor prescribed a brand new medication. "Let's try this first," he said. The physician is an older Chinese man who is very conservative in his practice. I suppose it's good, but I know Jim is getting tired of carrying his friend "Bags" around. He's graduated from having me empty the bag, to doing it himself, which is another step toward autonomy and gives me a little more time to get other things done.

After the visit to the urologist, we had to hurry home because the physical therapist was due to arrive for his PT assessment. The young man had Jim do several exercises and had him sweating like crazy! Still, Jim felt good about the things he was doing and received several 'homework' exercises to do.

Today, the occupational therapist came and did an assessment as well. He taught Jim how to go up and down the stairs by himself, and how to get into the shower by himself. The visit was extremely useful and seemed to cheer Jim up a bit. After the OC therapist left, the home health nurse/case manager came in for a visit. She took his vitals and inquired about how he was doing, then left. We ate a lunch of Tofurkey slices and veggies wrapped in a burrito sized tortilla, and then went for a walk outside. I thought maybe he could make it to the mailboxes down the street, but he was doubtful. He wanted me to follow him with the wheel chair in case he got tired, so, I did . . . 

 He not only made it past the mailboxes, but continued on along a back path/park where we take our dog (Paris) to walk. It's a circular route. He was doing so well, I suggested that he try walking behind the wheelchair while gripping the handles. This worked very well for a bit, but the wheelchair kept scooching together. Ever able to solve a problem, I promptly sat in it and Jim pushed me in the wheelchair all the way around (6/10 of a mile)! He had expected to be tired, but after taking a nap earlier, he found he had the strength and energy to make it all the way. Needless to say, it was a very good and productive day! 

Although he's doing better, we have a long way to go and sometimes there will be setbacks (we know). Jim was doing great physically today, but had trouble mentally finding the words he wanted to express how he was feeling or what he was thinking. I spent a lot of time on the phone talking with his new case manager from Tricare (in Hawaii) and trying to arrange his future appointments. He'll have an MRI and MRA soon, and will see a few more doctors this week and next week. One thing's for certain, neither of us will be bored in the next few days. With the pending move to an apartment at the end of the month, his physical therapy/OC therapy and his doctor appointments, it will be October before we know it!

Changes: They Are a-Comin' . . .

Nothing is permanent. Nothing remains the same. It's a hard lesson to learn, and one we fight against all of the time despite the obvious daily proof that it's a certainty.

August 28th was a particularly hard day. It was 4 weeks since Jim's bike crash and the day Kira moved out of her house and into her first solo apartment with her boyfriend, Owais. It's also the day Jim found out he couldn't come home yet and had to spend at least another week in the hospital due to both a blood infection (septicemia) and a urinary tract infection. 

The worst of the day was when our beloved furry family member Maddie died. Maddie was the oddest creature. She loved to go on walks with the dog, and would cry at the door whenever we left her inside so we could take the dog (Paris) for a long walk. Maddie was the cutest kitty ever, and we were heartbroken to come home and find out that she'd been attacked by a dog and killed. The neighbor across the street tried to save her, and even ran her to the vet, but she died enroute. (RIP Maddie. May your next life be bright and happy! We will miss you!)

All of these changes served as a catalyst for me to make some very big decisions. Finances, in this world, tend to be the key for survival and because of that key I had to change the door and the lock on the door of our lives.

I traded in both of our old cars for new 2013 models. While that sounds like more money spent, it was with a purpose. Now both cars have bumper to bumper warranty, free roadside assistance and gap insurance. 

Our house is a 4 bedroom rental home that now has only 3 people living in it, and so I gave notice the 30th of this month that we would be moving out of it and selected a 2 bedroom apartment not far from here that is $500.00 less to pay per month. Not only that, but we'll have less to pay in terms of insurance, garbage pick up fees, less electricity use and water use, and there will be much less housework (which I really like).

It's a step down in the 'standard' of living one might say, but prudent in terms of financial responsibility. I'll miss my garden, and my quiet back patio (with the exception of the buzz of the Hwy 126), but there's a small balcony at the apartment where I can still place my patio furniture and hang out and write.

Often, as humans, we tend to collect things. Old furniture, pictures, dishware and the like. Those of us who have garages recognize how much we put in boxes and set aside. Half the time we aren't aware of all of the THINGS we've accumulated. The month of September there are two mottos: 1. Get rid of STUFF and 2. Get the jobs done.

This entry will be ongoing and you'll see some pictures below once I get things together, but that's the status today. If you'd like to keep up with what's going on, please subscribe to my blog and you'll get the updates. If not, believe me I understand. The world is too busy, and it's getting more frantic with buzz every day. Just know that I love you all. Each and every one. From those who are my closest family to those far away. From my dear friends, to those who've mentored me, those I've worked with and those who keep in touch professionally. Thank you all for your prayers, kind thoughts and meditations in this time of rapid change for our family. More soon!

Hospital Update on Jim . . .

I apologize for not sending everyone a personal update, but I know you all understand. It's a challenge to try to fill my shoes and my husband's at this point in time, and between household duties, wifely and motherly duties and a number of other jobs, I'm running ragged at this point. If I haven't returned a message, submitted an edit or a paper, or if I owe you a review, please accept my apologies. I'll be running late once again, but will get the work to you as soon as I can. If you need something right away, please don't feel shy about calling. Reminders are helpful.

Jim was projected to return home on the 28th of this month. After this weekend I'm not sure when he'll be home. Many of you were aware that after Jim's admission to Saint John's Hospital for rehab, he started having bladder/urinary problems. The medical personnel ended up putting a supra-pubic catheter in him (a tube just above his pubic bone and into his bladder) so that he could urinate. His urologist was trying to help him build up pressure in the bladder in order to urinate normally, but he's been unable to. We are thinking he may need surgery on his prostate before he goes home so he can go to the bathroom without a catheter, but we'll see.

Last night his body core temperature dropped and then spiked to 103 while we were visiting. His heart rate was 120+. He was shaking very badly and complaining of being cold. They gave him Tylenol and started an I.V., drew blood cultures and started him on a course of antibiotics (Rocephin). At one point he started speaking words/sentences that made no sense. They were strings of random words, and he would look at the nurse and I like we were supposed to know what he was saying. It was the first time I'd ever seen/heard him do that. Eventually, the garbled language subsided, and he was fairly coherent after that. I stayed with him till close to midnight to make sure he was okay. 

Jim has done well during his physical therapy up until now, and perhaps once they get the infection under control he'll be on the mend again, but I suspect he won't be leaving on the 28th and that he won't have physical therapy for a while. No physician has been in to see him this weekend, but they will see him on Monday. The kids went in to see him this morning/early afternoon and said he was very tired and still running a low-grade fever. We still don't know what kind of infection he has.

Meanwhile, we are running some food to him tonight (hospital food is repetitive for a vegetarian there) and taking clean clothes in/bringing dirty clothes back. We really don't need anything except your continued friendship and support.

If you've got prayers and good thoughts to send his way, please send them. I would let him rest today, and maybe call him tomorrow or the next day instead, if you'd like to talk with him. His cell number is 301-801-6661, and he can receive email (jimferg29@mac.com), texts and voice messages. He likes hearing from people when he can.

Take care everyone and be well.

Pictures from when Owais came to California to stay: Day One . . .

 Owais and Kira when they brought Paris to visit Jim

Reality Crash . . .

It's been awhile since I've posted on this blog, and I've neglected the other blogs as well. I blame it on a busy life, and my inability to avoid committing to too many projects at one time.

Today's blog is the ending of one life and the beginning of another. My husband, Jim, loves cycling with a passion. Every "Tour de France" or "Tour de 'something'" has him avidly watching the screen after a TIVO, and getting on his bike with gusto afterward. He tries to ride almost every day, and sometimes he grosses 50 to 80 (or even 100) miles on a Saturday, and then goes after it all over again on Sunday.

July 28th. I'm at home writing when the call comes in. It's my daughter, who wants to know if I've heard about her Dad. "No," I said, and punched a few more letters in while she relayed a quick string of words I wasn't sure I comprehended. Something about "Dad," and "crashing the bike," and "being flown to the hospital." I hung up the phone and realized I didn't have the slightest idea what she'd just told me.

3:30 PM: My husband's cycling friend Kenny calls to tell me that my husband was medivac'd to Ventura County Hospital. I'd already pulled on clothes, and prepared to leave the house with my son. "He's okay," was what I'd been told. That's all I clung to. After going to the wrong hospital, and finally finding the right one, I rounded the curtain in the ER and he looked anything but "okay." His face was scrapped horribly, and his head was encased in a full neck brace.

Every five minutes or so, he'd look at me very confused and ask the same question. "Where am I? What happened?" I'd patiently explain, over and over again, that he'd crashed on his bike, that he had a major concussion and had trauma to his head, and that he was in the Ventura County Medical Center (VCMC). His eyes remained confused. He'd tell me he was sorry. Sorry he crashed his bike. Sorry he couldn't remember. I felt so bad for my son, Sean. Fifteen years old, going on 16 in a few months, and watching his dad suffer and go through such confusion.

July 29th:  Jim was moved to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) a few hours later. They did tons of tests on him, including an MRI of his brain, some vascular studies and an echocardiogram. The neurosurgeon showed me his MRI, and where the left vertebral artery seemed to have suffered trauma, as well as the small blood clots in the left parietal side of his brain and the frontal portion. Six clots, all small, but in different areas. The doctor said he thought perhaps the trauma to the artery caused a 'shower' of clots in the brain. Regardless, the effect was like that of having mini-strokes.

Jim's speech was garbled and his words were slurred. His right side of the body was weaker and it was more difficult for him to grasp objects with his right hand. I thanked the maker of Bell Helmets that day. If it weren't for their design, and superior fit on his head, he wouldn't be with me today. That much I know. 

 August 1st (Jim's B-Day):  We sneak in a helium balloon only to find out he's being moved to 2 West, a regular medical floor. That is cause for a little celebration. He's graduated to a regular floor. Kira makes him Banana bread for his birthday cake, and we give him our gift: Football tickets to the San Diego Chargers/ Dallas Cowboys game. A REAL game. I found myself wondering if he'd be able to make it.

August 4th (Sunday): After dinner and a shower, Jim and I went outside to look at the sunset. He recognized "Two Trees," but wasn't sure why he recognized them. While we sat there, the kids arrived with Paris, and as soon as Paris sniffed and saw who was ahead of her, she ran like mad to try to get to her human! I think there was tongue in that kiss! :)

August 6th (Tuesday): Jim has received phone-calls from Andy, Mike, Kenny and many others. The phonecalls really help him. They jog his memory, and get his brain cells firing. The bruise on his arm has turned the lovely shades of yellow and purple.